My highs and my lows… November 10, 2009
So my blog has been ignored and I need to keep up with it, else it’s gonna leave my sorry ass. But since I have been writing lately, a lot might I add, I just did not have the time for this. Life’s finally getting back on track, I have a job I love, people around me that I adore.
I do not think this can get any better. Ok, maybe it could. But I am a little more optimistic that I was. It hasn’t always been easy and it’s at time like those that I tend to pen down random thoughts. Stuff that makes me laugh, cry, smile. ALL AT THE SAME FRIGGIN TIME!
Like the fact that I laugh, inwardly when I fart. (YES, women DO fart.) And I also laugh at the other’s too, I don’t want to be selfish. What can I say? Our earth is habited by people who think that is funny, and those who think I’m disgusting. Both reactions make me laugh harder, snort and fart. Again.
Sitting in the luxury of our air conditioned buses, I caught my co-passenger throwing me gagging looks as I picked my nose. Aww, c’mon its not like you have NEVER done it. Sometimes the booger is so faaaaar inside, a tissue will JUST not work. Besides, that’s the ONLY gold I will be able to dig for. Leave me be, also, I wash my hands…eventually.
I sleep with a pillow. Not on one, WITH one. Yes, I maybe a 20-something, but I do. I’ve been made fun off, regaled or whatever and I DONT CARE! Because I am not afraid to embrace my inner child, which is a pillow.
I write EVERYTHING down. It could be a random shop sign. BUT I WILL WRITE IT. It makes me happy, it makes me remember fun things. It helps me write. Maybe it’s a product of living alone or venturing out on my own, although I’m rather sociable, I love when I can sit and write in complete silence. That to me, is sex.
I think it takes skill to be abrupt and I love it.
I have to wash my feet before I do ANYTHING. Wanna meet me for lunch? No, don’t worry I showered this morning, but I need to wash my feet. Market, sure, let me just wash my feet and be there. Sex? Haha, no.
She is New September 19, 2009
She rose from ashes and succumbed to it. She had heard of his magic and wanted to touch. She feared she’d burn herself again, her heart would not let go. She wanted to see him, feel him, and touch him. She felt anew.
The time had come, she went to receive him. He was lost in a crowd of millions. She wanted to see him first. Her heart leapt. The butterflies ate her insides. She searched for him. He for her. And then she saw him, it was new.
They embraced, their hearts entwined. It seemed like forever. She was new. He let go, looked into her eyes. She moved forward, kissed him. The world stopped. She was new. She is new.
He could not understand it. She was in awe. He was beautiful. She wanted him. He, her. The clasped hands and walked in silence, allowing their emotions to die down. They wouldn’t. This was the first time they met. This was new.
They drove home. Her home. To be his. They hugged when inside. It was magical. She was a virgin, she was glad she waited. He lay her down, brushed her hair away… caressed her body. She arched her body to touch his… feeling his touch. They made love. She was new.
She took him out that morning, to explore. She wanted to explore him. She was in love. He held her ever so carefully, like glass. She yearned for him. Their bodies for each other. They watched movies, lying in each others arms. They walked along the rocks, through the bustling city, through snide remarks and comments. They heard nothing. She was new. This was new.
He left the next morning, he wanted her. She wanted him. She never felt this way about anyone. This was her forever. Her heart wandered. It followed his.
She remembered. She is new.
To a man from a youth… June 28, 2009
He was loved by all. And now by his death, we lose a little of ourselves too. Anybody who has listened to his music will feel it too. A little of our childhood has died along with him. A little of our love for music has been greedily snatched away by his pain. I have never listened to music that had so much passion in the melody and voice like his. No song could captivate my heart the way “Gone to soon” or “Childhood” did. It made me want to bring him into my world, to play with my toys, to share my childhood, to blossom in my youth, to have a childhood.
Happiness was a rare expression to find on his face - but these images have captured it.
“Have you seen my Childhood?I’m searching for the world that I come from ‘Cause I’ve been looking around In the lost and found of my heart… No one understands me They view it as such strange eccentricities… ‘Cause I keep kidding around Like a child, but pardon me…”
His existence made my days easier; he taught me what it meant to be passionate. He taught me about innocence, he taught me about a child’s love, he made me love animals. His presence was personal. He taught me loyalty for I thought there could never be a musician of his calibre. I was right.
“People say I’m not okay ‘Cause I love such elementary things… It’s been my fate to compensate, for the Childhood I’ve never known… Have you seen my Childhood? I’m searching for that wonder in my youth Like pirates and adventurous dreams, Of conquest and kings on the throne…”
He healed the world in his own way, he rubbished racism, he made way for some of the most influential people of our times, he broke the barriers and he dared. We lived in his era, we lived because he dared. He made us popular every time we imitated him; he made us KNOW that we could be anyone we wanted to be.
“Before you judge me, try hard to love me, Look within your heart then ask, Have you seen my Childhood? People say I’m strange that way ‘Cause I love such elementary things, It’s been my fate to compensate, For the Childhood I’ve never known…”
His music was powerful, he was the power. He overcame his troubles, we overcame ours. No matter where our music influences started, he played a part in some area. To me, I was a kid, a kid in love with a universal being who wanted to care for him, to let him know he had a friend, to show him that his listeners and fans shared in his pain.
His memory will always live on.
I remember crying for nights when I was told he would die one day, I was 13. 10 years later and it is a reality and I find no tears to cry. His life is a testimony to his music. His life was shrouded with law suits and court cases, but he remained himself through it all. His music was his voice, his music was his passion.
“Have you seen my Childhood? I’m searching for that wonder in my youth Like fantastical stories to share The dreams I would dare, watch me fly… Before you judge me, try hard to love me. The painful youth I’ve had Have you seen my Childhood….”
We have truly lost a legend, a being that was a part of our lives than most of us would like to admit. We disregarded his influence when he needed support the most and today in his death we want him back. By his death we understand his influence and our attachment to his music.
Michael, you truly are a star. We hope now that as you watch the world mourn your death, you understand that you were loved, you were admired and you will be missed.
You will be missed.
Like A Comet / Blazing ‘Cross The Evening Sky / Gone Too Soon / Like A Rainbow / Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye / Gone Too Soon / Shiny And Sparkly / And Splendidly Bright / Here One Day / Gone One Night / Like The Loss Of Sunlight / On A Cloudy Afternoon / Gone Too Soon / Like A Castle / Built Upon A Sandy Beach / Gone Too Soon / Like A Perfect Flower / That Is Just Beyond Your Reach / Gone Too Soon / Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight / Here One Day / Gone One Night / Like A Sunset Dying With The Rising Of The Moon / Gone Too Soon. Gone Too Soon -Michael Jackson (1958-2009)
Letter to a younger Me… June 24, 2009
Dear Me,
I was going to write you this letter a long time ago, but you know how lazy I am, don’t you? Duh, you do cuz by now you are a brilliant 14 year old still trying to make your sisters life miserable. Also those huge platform clogs you wear – STOP! They’re ugly as hell and make you look like an invalid!
Start drinking a lot of water, even though I know you hate it. It’ll make you keep the weight off and not worry about finding clothes like I do now. Keep with the reading, those books will grow into an obsession and keep you out of trouble.
Don’t believe anything Jackie or Gwen or any of the more popular girls tell you, they’re all liars and sleep-a rounds. You are perfect the way you are. Plus, when you are older you’ll realize how ugly they really are. Jackie with her platypus feet and Gwen with her bunny ears.
Take good care of your hair; you will miss its straightness when it starts to frizzle in the Mumbai heat. Don’t pick up that cigarette James offers you; it’ll be a hard habit to kick.
Also don’t worry too much about your failed relationship with Velroy; he will come back, albeit 9 years later. Stay away from Najeeb and gang, those boys are T.R.O.U.B.L.E. You will meet some fine boys after that but don’t fall too easily, they will just drain your energy and suck your excitement away.
When Velroy does eventually come back, be nice to him. You will come to respect his love and understand his actions. You will also find out that you were better friends than lovers.
STAY AWAY FROM SUSHIL.
He will be the biggest cheater you will ever meet. Also from a whore called PEARL. She will make your life miserable with her misery. This particular time in your life will be stressful, but you will get out of it. Don’t side with Pearls insecurities, she is a lying, conniving whore who tried to ruin a boy’s like, know that she can do the same to you. Sushil will cheat on you and lie to you all through your relationship. Break up with him the night he doesn’t show you his phone when you notice a message from a certain slut in Kerala, trust me, it isn’t his Grandmother messaging. Listen to your sister. Although he will give you money, use him and lose him.
Prepare yourself for a real good boy to walk into your life a year later. You willexperience happiness again.
Do not let your sister run the shaving blade over your shin! It will destroy your non-hairy legs and force you to keep it up for the rest of your life. But at the same time, don’t fight with your sister, don’t feed her onions or drink her milk, DO NOT PUSH HER FROM THE BALCONY!! In the next few years you will be separated from her and you will miss her like crazy.
Don’t worry too much about school; you’ll ace your board exams better than some show off relatives who push their children. However don’t believe them when they tell you that Mangalore is mini-Mumbai. You will live to regret it! Stay back with Mom and Dad, they are your only rocks! They will love you and your faults no matter what!
Love your shoes; they are the only things that will fit you no matter what. Learn to Relax, learn to take a joke. Challenge your teachers more, they will love you for it and hate you too. You will keep them on their toes.
Something’s that will never change about us is our ability to hang on to our beliefs and our neediness to learn. Stop being rebellious, some people really care about you.
But you know what girl; you’ll turn out just fine. You’ll also learn that most women are weird and desperate, but you will also meet the kinds that aren’t and you will form lifelong friendships.
You will be happy.
You will be alright.
Xoxo
Your 24 year old self.
Letter to Mom & Dad… i love you… June 6, 2009
Dear Mom and Dad,
I love you. I think I’ve finally realized how much I love you’ll after spending so much time away from the both of you. I remember when I was young and a total rebel and just wanted to go away from you. Now I all I want to be is near you.
Sometimes I’ll suddenly get a whiff of your perfume Ma, and get emotional over it. Dad, there have been many times I’ve smelt your aftershave and cry that you aren’t near me. See two sisters walking hand in hand and wonder why it has to be so hard not to have you near Robby. I am here, far away from you for a reason. To be able to take care of you’ll, to secure a comfortable future for you’ll.
I’ve overcome hurdles when you were near and it seemed like a breeze, being by myself makes it harder. Being myself, reaffirms that I am independent. Being alone makes the darkness blinding. Being by myself brings that future closer. Being by myself makes me feel further away. Being alone makes me love you more.
I’ll never allow anyone to hurt you not even our extended family. You’ll have often been ridiculed, looked down on because we did not do as well as them. But you know what? We have love. Roberta and I love you. We know that you’ll are always there for us, in our good decisions and bad. You let us make our mistakes and celebrate when we are successful.You love us unconditionally and always will. You’ve accepted our quirkiness and faults and love us despite our vices. You make Robby and I grateful that we have you as parents.
There’s a fine line between love and fear. We aren’t afraid to let our voices be heard by the two of you because we know you will ‘correct’ or ‘advise’ accordingly. You give us our wings to fly and spend hours patching up the holes when we’ve failed. You paint the colours of the rainbow when we succeed, and give us your laps to cry in when we’ve failed.
You’ve allowed us to follow our dreams and not push us into careers we don’t want to go into, like others have been pushed into. They are unhappy, they may be rich, but they are unhappy. You do not hide our faults, you make us realize them and adjust accordingly. You know that we aren’t angels. We’ve got relatives who think their narcotic sons and sneaky daughters are unblemished. Maybe they are afraid of the truth. The truth does hurt.
They’ve never liked that Dada married you, Ma and I know in they’re own selfish ways they still make you pay for it. But Ma, after 26 years of marriage you have nothing to prove to them. Stop trying to win them over! After 26 years it’s a pleasure to see Da and you still very much in love and I don’t think we’d grow up better if we had any of the others as our parents. Your marriage is a marriage of love and not convenience like the others. Stop fighting, because Ma, you’ve won, you’ve won the hearts of your children and they’ll never ever measure up to you’ll. If i am as half as happy and you and Dada is, ill consider my marriage a success too.
They’ll never be happy unless their bullying someone else just to boost themselves. Just because you’ll owe one of them some money, you can’t say much, but I vow to that BITCH pay that back. You may have been helped when you needed it but that’s no excuse for being treated the way you are. The secrets they keep, the back biting they do… and then they greet others with “praise the lord.” do they even know the meaning? Do they know they are going to hell? Don’t they fear God? Don’t they have feelings of their own?
Mom, Dad I promise to look after you. I promise to give you everything you have blessed me with in my youth. We will make you proud. We will love you like no other. We will always be there. We will define what a family stands for.
Love, Hugs and Kisses,
Always,
Michelle.
YaYmen on Twitter April 22, 2009
Yesterday I wrote a post on how it feels to be a man, today ladies, we will give you the opportunity to actually applaud them, as well as let the world know you love them.
Have you ever felt that his smile was enough to make you melt? His sweetness was not in when he opened doors for you, but simply when he pushed away that stray hair from your eyes so he could look into them?
Have you ever noticed how lucky you feel when he does something without being asked? Or when he does something the moment you had decided in your head to tell him to do it? Or just how he makes you feel like the only girl in the world for him?
Have you ever felt a father’s love or your brother’s protectiveness and felt secure?
Well Girls, here is your opportunity to show them how grateful you are for having them in your lives. It can be as simple as a smile to something as racy as their amazing butts.
If you are on twitter… get ready to nominate and then vote for your *little bits of happiness*. You can nominate them based on Butt, Abs, Smile, Humour, Personality, Flirt, Intellect and Successfulness!
So just as Shakti said in her post: So go on guys, get all your gal pals to nominate you. And girls, only you can nominate Yaymen. You don’t want to miss out on this opportunity to thank all the men who make life oh-so-interesting!
And as Reena proclaimed in her post:
#yaymen are not necessarily beefcakes and neither are they all required to have minds that work faster than a computer.
#yaymen are simply men who make women go YAY for knowing them and make us say Amen for their existence.
#yaymen does objectify men on many grounds, but it is a benevolent kind of objectification. It is an objectification rounded off by our true appreciation and admiration for our #yaymen and their ways.
#yaymen most importantly, is our call to women all over the world who are categorized and criticized for speaking their minds about THEIR desires and needs.
#yaymen is our hope that among all the male rapists, molesters, violators, eve-teasers, paedophiles, womanizers and other riff raff that make our lives miserable, there exist genuine men who are actually quite nice and actually capable of making us inordinately happy for being us and for being women.
And as Apurva agreed!!!
So Ladies get read to rave to the entire twitterverse why your nominee deserves to win! Guys get your women campaigning!
Objectify. Admire. Express.
Process Guidelines:
NOMINATIONS
For NOMINATIONS – ONLY Women can nominate, so all the #yaymen need to actually CAMPAIGN to get their women following them to nominate for them.
They can nominate them for the following categories:
- Butt
- Abs
- Smile
- Humour
- Personality
- Flirt
- Intellect
- Successful
Nomination replies will be as follows: @yay_men i nominate @boy1 for his personality – or – @yay_men i nominate @boy2 for his amazing butt!
Nominations will be closed one week from the day we announce the opening, i.e. 28th April.
We will tally the nominations and announce finalists in the different categories on the 30th of April.
Finalists will be informed thru a series of tweets such as: @boy1 @boy2 @boy3 finalists in the “Best Smile Category”
VOTING
Once the finalists have been announced, VOTING can begin.
They will need to vote with this line @yay_men i vote for @boy1 in the BEST SMILE category.
ANYBODY and EVERYBODY can vote as long as they’re on Twitter.
Voting will end 1 week from when it began, i.e. 7th May.
Winners will be announced on the following Saturday or Sunday afternoon.
Have you loved your MEN today? April 21, 2009
Most women have it good in today’s society, albeit a few struggles. What we do though is harp on how EASY men have it.
Have you ever taken a step back and actually thought about it? Have you ever envisioned what it must be like for our men?
Envision a little boy, innocent, sweet, full of love and joy. Which fades into aggressiveness and muscle when they are sent to pre-school, taught to be *nice* to girls as they are weaker while the girls can do what they want and the little boy will only have to endure it, because they are girls and you are a boy.
Envision his teenage years, all through high school and college he hears of stories about rape and orgies and that MEN ARE SEX PREDATORS; let alone anything else. He is subjected to a stream of negative images and portrayals of men, while that is exactly what he will grow up to be, a MAN.
Boys, remember when you finally realised when your parents actually called you a *YOUNG MAN.* You became more aware of all the pretty *YOUNG* women around you and all you wanted to find is a sweet simple girl to fall in love with and marry and begin a family. You are a nice guy, but girls have been through college too and they’ve heard all those stories of girls raped by *nice guys* just like you. You want to love but are jaded instead.
Imagine our young men sent to the military or navy or merchant navy. While serving your country is honourable, engaging in war can have its repercussions. You watch as some of the men you served with go home in coffins and this doesn’t allow you to sleep at night because it haunts you. You have health problems no one cares about. You are after all a man and it is MEN who started wars, right?
Envision what it must be like for men who’ve given up on marriage because if in case it doesn’t work out, the family court system is against you anyway. You risk losing everything you have ever built. You also don’t want your non-existent children to go thru the hatred. You don’t want to put him through anything. You’re afraid a divorce may destroy your image in his eyes, as he watches his mother who left you, rename you a BASTARD and doesn’t have one nice thing to say about that little boy’s father, although they have shared happy times.
You are not a coward but it’s better to never have loved at all than lose what you love. Society has named you a liar, loser, pedophile, maniac, predator, loner, psycho, desperate and lots of other derogatory names. There has to be something wrong with you, you just can’t be normal!
We have spent enough time going on about how terrible they are, but in honesty they are not. This post is to celebrate the men in our lives. To let them know that although we complain, we are grateful. We admire them and love them! They make us happy and say “YAY!”
How many of these men have gone up burning buildings to save lives, fully aware of the fact, it’s a climb to their own doom. How many of them have been on the frontline of battles to protect their countries, their homes and their families? Fully aware that it was their life they were giving up.
How many husbands, fathers, boyfriends, brothers, fiancés work all day at a boring and thankless job, just so he can provide for his family? They never complain, never question. They just work. I’m not asking for pity and help for these men, instead we want to appreciate and thank them for all they do for us.
Honestly, I love my men, not in an “I’m a slut and men are great at that” way. I love all their flaws and imperfections and characteristics and euphemisms that make them MEN. I could go on about these brilliant traits but I don’t have the time or blog space.
So here’s a cheer to all the MEN that feel unappreciated. We do notice things and love you loads. You may think we take you for granted and don’t notice the details, while most of us don’t, we would like to thank you for that too!
I know if there was anything gruesome that needed doing, like killing a cockroach, I’d call my man.
None of us argue in the car with the man if there’s a flat tire, we both know who’s going to fix it!
If there is anything repulsive to be done, I wouldn’t be doing it. Not because I refuse, I wouldn’t have to; I know my man will do it!
May a time we have offered, but shot down because the men in our lives can handle it. Because they are there to protect us and provide for us. Do not deny them that right.
So all you #Yaymen out there, THANK YOU. We want all you men who go around silently feeling unappreciated although you sacrifice so much for us to know that you are loved. To know we draw from your strengths and we wouldn’t be strong if not for you!
You may be underappreciated but you are definitely not unappreciated!!
Therefore, I pledge to OBJECTIFY, ADMIRE, and EXPRESS my gratitude for all the #Yaymen in my life. You are not applauded for your laurels (although that may help) or your achievements. You are a star for being a man, for being strong and we tip our hats to you.
You deserve the best!
If you would like to celebrate your man, please get onto Twitter, follow @shaktijs, @unitechy, @spitphyre, @limeice and me (@punkpolkadots) and join us in the celebration. You can applaud not only your husbands, but your brothers, fathers, nephews, cousins and anybody else who is male as long as they are on Twitter.
Stay tuned for how the #YaYmen process will move further!
Till then, my readers go hug your #YaYmen today and tell them how much they mean to you!!
Xoxo,
M.
The are 5 of my favourite things… (and more) December 11, 2008
5 Things I’m Passionate About
1. My Family
2. Music
3. Life
4. My Friends
5. Shoes
5 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Drive a convertible…
2. Own 6 pairs of Jimmy Choos..(another 5 to go)
3. Earn a PhD in English Literature
4. Skydive.
5. Write a book…
5 things I say Often
1. Whatever
2. LoL
3. Okaaaaay?
4. Fuckshit
5. shag!
5 Books I’ve read recently
1. You are here – Meenakshi R. Mahadevan
2. Almost Single – Advaita Kala
3. P.s. I love you – Cecilia Ahern
4. Twilight – Stepheni Meyer (reading this now)
5. Superstar India – Shobha De
5 Songs That I Could Listen to Over and over again
1. Afterglow – INXS
2. Yellow Ledbetter – Pearl Jam
3. Wish you were here – Pink Floyd
4. A poem on the underground wall – Simon & Garfunkel
5. Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
5 Things That Attract Me to my Best Friends
1. Funny
2. Caring
3. Smart
4. Not afraid to be themselves
5. Crazy
5 Things I Have Learned This Past Year
1. Never doubt myself
2. I can do anything as long as I have my friends and family.
3. The world is not as scary as I thought.
4. Nothing lasts forever.
5. I learned that no matter how nice I am to people that there is someone out there that will have a problem with me or not like me, so I have learned to just deal with it. To bad for them:)
Ok, so here are my lists….What are yours???
