Guilty Pleasure – #1 – MOVIES

Yes, my taste in movies have recently been lost with the likes of Transformers or Horror Potty or whatever, so I decided to think back to the movies that really had an effect on me.

These are not my favourite movies, make no mistake! Just some part of it that made me want to speak out! Also the kinds of movies that make you want to watch it while channel surfing and then get right into it, no matter where the scene is. Somehow, I have always been attracted to the B movies, I am still in love with Classic cinema, but B movies do hit a pleasure spot somewhere in me. Even if it’s just lustful. I think it started with the likes of Godzilla and the Blob…

One of the movies I’ve actually hated is TOMB RAIDER and being an avid gamer I was elated with the Tomb Raider set up and thought Lara Croft to be one of the most fully “developed” characters recently.  When Angeline ( * puke* ) was cast for the role, I had hoped her fugly self would live up to the brand Spielberg and Lucas could deliver, but then I saw it.. What a mash up of Hong Kong and secret society conventions. Waste of money!!

Recently, while channel surfing, as with the thousands of repeats Star movies makes I came across Tomb Raider, 102 minutes later I was dumbstruck, I was actually having fun watching this movie. I was sucked in like a vacuum cleaner on steroids! The “All Seeing Eye” actually made scientific sense to me and when Lara awoke in the middle of the night by the buried clock that was weird but intriguing nonetheless. I loved a few of the action sequences, the night time raid by Michael Bay’s touring militia was apt! One Tomb Raider is good, two is better. Also the identity given to Lara is in fact “Tomb Raider”, Naukri.com please notify me when the next Tomb Raider position is available!

Another HBO repeat I’m drawn to is “Armageddon” Did you actually think Michael Bay would not make this list. The man knows how to touch our pleasure spots! With all the polished special effects, crackerjack action progression, and enough zoom, cuts and quick edits to bring on a case of provisional epilepsy. Bad Boys 1 and 2, The Rock and Pearl Harbor, how can you pick a favourite??

Armageddon is a story of NASA’s dim decision to send D12 Oil Drillers into space to split an ‘Asteroid the Size of Texas”. There’s so much to feed on here. Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler…Bruce Willis and his drawl, Aerosmith and Peter Stormare’s crazy astronaut. And if that wasn’t enough, the heart wrenching came when Liv says her “final goodbye” to her dad… Fortunately she got Ben to go home to and that’s something she can hold onto!

Hard Target – Where would Jean Claude Van Damme be without this movie?? These “muscles from Brussels” wouldn’t be this side of the equator if it hadn’t been for producer Sam Raimi, who I’m giving props to for introducing Hollywood to the action styling’s of Mr. John Woo!

Although Woo would only shine in ‘98’s Face/Off, Hard Target comes close. The similarity between Korean crime flicks and HT were uncanny. I loved the balletic gun battles, hero and villain over the top dramatic face-offs and the camera making me dizzy with expert tact through the carnage of Woo cinema!

We all know the Hard Target story and the hunt for men. Lance Henricksens throatiness made me quiver, the speeding dirt bike scene made my knees weak. The comic timing couldn’t not be better, the characters fitted. Also towards the end we Wilford Brimley’s Uncle Douvee, who with his thick Cajun accident pops in at the final battle firing off what appears to be moonshine-tipped explosive arrows while offering up such country colloquialisms as “Here, drink. But do not spill. It kill de grass.”

I love the dialogue between Natasha and Chance. Natasha says, “Why’d your parent’s name you Chance?” His retort was brilliant! “Because… my momma’ took one.”

Big Trouble In Little China – Centred around the student protest in Tiananmen Square, this dramatic flick would make this list any sunny day.

Directed by John Carpenter, with a few solid genre classics, B-movie madness and is insane filmmaking at its finest. The film stars Kurt Russell as Jack Burton, heroic truck driver, and Kim Catrall – when she was actually hot and not the plus-sized bimbo she transexualised into on Sex in the City.

Basically, JB (driver of the 18-Wheeler The Pork Chop Express) accompanies Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) to pick up his fiancée at the airport. They then find out the woman, Miao Yin, is kidnapped because she has green eyes – a feature required by the centuries old David Lo Pan (a demon who rules the underworld beneath San Francisco’s Chinatown) to achieve immortality. Nosy reporter (Kim Catrall), also possess green eyes and is subsequently captured as well. What follows is anyone’s guess!

Russell applies his stamp creating a character that serves as kissing cousin to Bruce Campbell’s Ash. Both guys are so delightfully cocksure in their abilities. Most of Burton’s lines begin with the third person proclamation: “As Jack Burton always says…”

But this line was classic,  “All I know is that this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds while he just STANDS there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with LIGHT coming out of his mouth.”

That’s the recipe for guilty pleasure.

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One thought on “Guilty Pleasure – #1 – MOVIES

  1. Pingback: Guilty Pleasure – #1 – MOVIES « Adventures of a polka dot

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