To the women who make me waste time in restrooms, FUCK YOU!

This morning as I overslept I dreamt of the weekend that was to be. *sigh* bliss… Then I realised.. Fraack, I’m late! Brushed, Dressed, Left home. And Murphy strikes! I needed to pee. I can’t hold the need. I have to. Last resort… uses a public restroom. *sigh* (not in a good way!) And for all you women who turn your noses up to the nasty smell emancipating from the men’s room, YOU’RE waaaay nastier!!

So the next time you’re going to use a public restroom, stop being a wuss and sit on the fucking seat, seriously. Fucking pussy.

You can’t catch anything serious by sitting on the seat! It has been proved! Unless you can see tiny warts or crabs crawling on the seat, please (and I say it in the nicest way possible) SIT THE FRACCCK DOWN!!!

I mean except for your thighs and a bit of your ass touches the seat.. How many women do you know are sadistic enough to spread their gloop around on the seat? Yea, I guessed as many too.

So, please stop squatting on the seat and spraying like a freaking garden pipe infused with a water divider!! Stop being in denial! You aren’t built like a man! We cannot maintain a Straight shoot! Commodes were built for us… in the bowl like shape! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE USE IT!

It isn’t very comforting to enter stalls that have piss on all the seats! It’s annoying to roll out toilet paper for us lesser mortals as we clean your mess so we can pee like a normal human instead of hob-nobbin on the seat like an epileptic with Alzheimer’s!

This makes me think, if you’re painting the stall with your pee, you must surely get some on yourself! Which, I’m guessing you appreciate better than sitting on a dry seat someone else has sat on! You must be insane. Clinically.

If you are and refuse to sit on the seat, please at least try and behave like a woman and CLEAN THE SHIT UP! No matter how hard it is for your tiny brain, try decency sometimes.

Speaking of which, you’ll are the same bitches that complain about men leaving the seat up! It’s just a single lift! And yet you’ll throw a hissy fit, I agree with them, if you aren’t using the seat put it up like men do! It definitely is easier to get stuff into the pot without dirtying the seat this way! Let’s just be realistic here!

So basically, I wanna pee quickly and get the fuck outta there! And you should be able to do the same! That would make the lines shorter. Men, the reason women take so long in the loo is because either they just pissed themselves while squatting and are now cleaning themselves up OR its poor souls like us wasting time cleaning seats after these nasty whores leave!

So, you mothafucking pussy’s, STOP HOVERING AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN!

Cheers,

M.

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5 thoughts on “To the women who make me waste time in restrooms, FUCK YOU!

  1. hey…
    Just came across ur blog…n must say it was hilarious to the core…:D
    but on the serious side…public restrooms are just seriously a nightmare…
    but neverthless…loved ur writin stlye…:)

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