It’s 5.30pm as i type this. Ordinarily i would frantically be wrapping up my daily work routine. Typing off last minute emails, getting artwork in. It saddens me that as of 5.30pm this evening i am half way through. Half way through a bottle of vodka.
I dont want to go out. I dont want to see other ‘successful’ people go into restaurants or clubs dressed up in fine attire. All of them getting stuff ‘to-go’ because of their busy work schedules, while i sit there, bored out of my mind mulling my situation as i hide my depression behind a book.
I hate people paying for my lunches or dinners because they know how broke i am. They’ve tried in the past and i havent allowed them to, now i dont have a choice.
I hate moving around the city in the day time as i see so many stay at home moms and college students. I am neither. It’s unfortunate that have no money to spend and all the time in the world to spend it. It’s disgusting that my answer to everyone’s question on whether i am free is ‘Sure, anywhere, anytime.’
I hate that i want to kill anyone who says:
– you have your health (and youth as a bonus!)
– you have skills that will eventually translate into a new job
– you have people around you who love you
I hate being unemployed.