I hate being unemployed.

It’s 5.30pm as i type this. Ordinarily i would frantically be wrapping up my daily work routine. Typing off last minute emails, getting artwork in. It saddens me that as of 5.30pm this evening i am half way through. Half way through a bottle of vodka.

I dont want to go out. I dont want to see other ‘successful’ people go into restaurants or clubs dressed up in fine attire. All of them getting stuff ‘to-go’ because of their busy work schedules, while i sit there, bored out of my mind mulling my situation as i hide my depression behind a book.

I hate people paying for my lunches or dinners because they know how broke i am. They’ve tried in the past and i havent allowed them to, now i dont have a choice.

I hate moving around the city in the day time as i see so many stay at home moms and college students. I am neither. It’s unfortunate that have no money to spend and all the time in the world to spend it. It’s disgusting that my answer to everyone’s question on whether i am free is ‘Sure, anywhere, anytime.’

I hate that i want to kill anyone who says:

– you have your health (and youth as a bonus!)
– you have skills that will eventually translate into a new job
– you have people around you who love you

I hate being unemployed.


9 thoughts on “I hate being unemployed.

  1. I can empathise with how you are feeling, there is much about our identity tied up in a job and it is often difficult to express quite what it’s like to be unemployed and i’m not sure anyone really understands unless they have been through it – I have been redundant for two days now and it’s so weird i’ve been blogging about it myself.

  2. I’ve been out of work 6 months now since my company closed its doors. The worst part is losing the pay. I don’t care what people say about purpose or fulfillment or being busy when they discuss loss of employment. We work for the money and when it’s not there it sucks. The second biggest loss is how your idea of self changes. Yep, “loser” is the word for the feeling. If you have low self esteem already you now have negative self esteem. It makes little sense since you are the same person as before. In fact maybe a better person since you’ve absorbed bad news and still managed to breath and excrete after like a trooper. Don’t make a difference cuz you know you are now a loser. I hope you have a great sense of humor to carry you through.

  3. I remember, while I had a job which I hated, I longed to be out- walking the streets of old Bombay photographing people, printing bedsheets and making a living out of it, cooking, stitching and so forth. Wait for a job thats totally worth it- and I know you might hate me for saying this, but make the best of your time. Maybe you could teach a struggling kid one on one? Check out a TED Talk called Once Upon a School. I see sooo much potential in a free person 🙂

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