Like I’ve never loved before..

We’ve all gone through that phase where one person can seem like the entire world to you. I am there. I cant move forward, i dont want to go back. It pains me everyday. Wise people around me see who he is and tell me it’s not worth it but only i know how i feel.

In my next life, i want a man who could be a little more vocal about how he felt. That would make me happier. And while there is nothing i can do about my current situation, all i do is hope. And wait.

I know it’s just a matter of time.. but this time i’m sure of what i want from a relationship. I want love, i want to know when he loves me, when he misses me, when he wants me. I want to hear it all. I dont want money or riches or material possesions, those dont EVER matter to me. The small things do. The playful hug and then sweet ‘I love you’s’.

Regardless, as i listened to this song in the morning, I dont think anyone or anything could have expressed it better. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in,
‘Coz I got time while he got freedom,
‘Coz when a heart breaks
no it don’t break even.

His best days will be some of my worst,
He finally met a woman that’s gonna put him first,
While I’m wide awake, he’s no trouble sleeping,
‘Coz when a heart breaks
no it don’t break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re ok
I’m falling to pieces
I’m falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
‘Coz he’s moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks
no it don’t break even, even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re ok
I’m falling to pieces, yeah
I’m falling to pieces, yeah
I’m falling to pieces
(One still in love
while the other one’s leaving)
I’m falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don’t break even)

You got her heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I’m tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.
‘Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I’m still alive but I’m barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don’t believe in,
‘Coz I got time while he got freedom,
‘Coz when a heart breaks
no it don’t break, no it don’t
break, no it don’t break even no.

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5 thoughts on “Like I’ve never loved before..

  1. You have kept your chin up, all thru this and that goes on to say that you are a strong person and You will sail through…

    Wish you luck and strength.

  2. Just found your blog. I am in the process of finalizing a divorce. And your words about what you want in a man and from a relationship, spoke so true to me. That’s exactly how I feel. It’s the little things, it really is. All the other stuff, material things are nothing, when you don’t have those little things. I’m looking for the little things. I have recently met a friend and so far he is so about the little things. Is he perfect? No, but am I, completely NOT.

    • 2NewBeginnings,

      Here’s to new beginnings. It’s funny but when i was younger, i never understood what people meant when they said that life was a journey. Now, we know. 🙂 The memories that we all remember for years to come are usually non-material things. A hug or a welcome home or fingers locked in a hold.

      The definition for perfect varies. We couldnt be with someone who was perfect, how would we grow? How could the two of us grow? Together?

      Also, you are a wonderful woman, even though i dont know you, you have to believe it. To get this far, it takes strength but you’ve made it. More power to you! Lots of love,
      M.

  3. I relate to this song so much. I know you’ll find the love you’re looking for, dear friend. Just hang in there. When the right person finds you, he will be the luckiest man in the world because you know how to love with your whole heart. ❤

    • It’s crushing when people walk out of our lives because as individuals we have so much love to give yet they fail to notice it. It is sad but like you rightly said when the right person walks in, they’ll know never to let go.

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