Stay

Tonight, i let go of something dear and something that meant EVERYTHING to me (yes, it was material) and consequentially, i tweeted ‘I’m breaking up with you.’

What followed was a short tweet-affair with the stellar @Nelsonnium. His words are beautiful and inspiring. (They’re also in italics). If you want to read more, you can find him, here.

*

I’m breaking up with you. Stay longer.  I wish i could but I can’t. The dreams I dream are bigger, the road I tread on will hurt you. Hurt me if you may. Stay if you need to stay. But, you’re always awaited for. Eagerly. You’ve left once before, why again? 

I fear breaking you with my touch. Unraveling you with my heart. I’ll leave every time that happens because you are perfect. You cannot call me perfect and leave. You make me perfect. We’re imperfect without each other. I’m not me without you. 

I make you bleed. You feel alive with me, passionate. But it will destroy you slowly. I want you around. I must go. For you. You leave me helpless and bleeding. How effortlessly do you turn the blade that breaks all ties and cuts my veins. 

You killed me when i first met you with her. Our affair is a secret. A secret that I have locked away until tonight. And yet, you come back. Our affair is the real relationship. This is love. You know I’m willing to leave all for you. Yes but you must also be willing to leave me. Leave the shine of your sun, the light of your moon, the love of your life.

I cannot bring myself to doing that. I’ve lived life without you before. I cannot go back to being half the person I was. I’ve never had a comfort zone with you, I’ve always thought of we before me. I’m willing to die again to change. Stay.. 

You bring the night into my life, the shade to my sunlight. You make me warm, safe, loved. I fear you. A hug is all I ask. You engulf my senses, let me whisper my need for you into your ear. There are no more tears to shed. You take everything I am with you when you leave. Are insecurities greater than our love? We are the answer to each other.

I will forever be with you… in mind and soul, my body can’t stay. It hums a different tune. Please don’t leave me, too.

And yet you leave me incomplete, like before. I’m helpless like a child. Soulmates are never meant to be. Your love is harsh. But it is true. My last breath is for you. Farewell.

Leave if you must, my love. My soul tires of begging for a life. Hope is never ending and free. Please give me all or none. You have consumed me. I have nowhere to go. My soul is your soul, my heart, yours. My life is over. We will go on forever.

Stay till the morning, in my arms. Dry your tears, sleep awhile, and listen to my heart beat for you? A last lullaby?  I can not fight that. You give me no reason but to. Protect me from my demons while i sleep, finally. One last time.

Sleep tight my love. Goodnight and farewell indeed. I shan’t see you in the morn.

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