Why I needed love yesterday

So yesterday’s little activity snowballed into this beautiful gush of snow, that I least expected. But I had my reasons for doing it. Selfishly so.

People who know me will know that Im not the most affectionate person and hugs from me are hard to come by. So obviously, this heartless woman is a fat ugly bitch who’s single on Valentines. All true. Naturally, you’d think I was someone who hated Valentine’s because sour grapes. I really don’t hate it, I just think it has unnecessary hype.

Nonetheless, when the office decided to pass around post it notes so we could send our ‘beloved’ colleagues fun ‘love’ notes, anything that requires sketch pens and post-its, I’m up for. So I set on my way writing note after note to people in the office i talk to on the daily.

We were expected to put them in a box to be hand delivered but my notes weren’t anonymous, so I just handed them over. For the notes that were in the box, they were read out, as we gathered around the HR lady. Over the course of that 30 minutes, there were various notes, fun notes, notes that made us a go aww and hmmm and lift an eyebrow because intrigue.

And then in between all the love and camaraderie  there were notes that hurt. And what I realized was that I was singled out and the notes to me were not very nice. They took digs at my weight and someone tried to impersonate notes to my BOSS from me, saying things like ‘I like trees, you give me wood’ and the likes. I know I can be mean but these were downright disrespectful. I kinda know who the notes were written by because their scrawl was untidy and says a lot about their character. And hey, if you guys are reading this, you have to know that just because you feel threatened by me, stooping so low is not really going to take you anywhere.

But more importantly, regardless of how people are or your perceptions of them, EVERY ONE has feelings and mine were hurt. More so because this is not the first time that this has happened, I’ve often found derogatory notes at my desk before and I know people who talk behind my back. I chose to ignore because I know my work speaks for me and not every one HAS to like me. But yesterday, I was sad. And upset. And I cried.

I needed to believe that love existed and that it didn’t matter who was at the giving or receiving end. In the past, Twitter has pleasantly surprised me and I hoped that Valentine’s Day would be no different. And so I turned to you. All of you.

And y’all delivered. With all the love and happiness I could only hope for and more. And for a moment or more, I was transported away. Away from hurt and depression. Away from people who go out of their way to be mean and hurtful and awful.

I had no hand to play in this. I just wrote what y’all told me to. So more than anything Twitter, thank you. You made me happy.

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5 thoughts on “Why I needed love yesterday

  1. I like your blog just for one thing… for the amount of truth and frankness with which it is written. Remember, the world is made of about 6 Billion people, so don”t sweat it out over a few. They don”t matter anyway!

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