I started this blog a few years ago when I was at my lowest low and had no idea of getting out or even if I wanted to. It was a dark dark place that I hoped I would never return to. But I did. Twice.
I’ve gone through so many ups-and-downs and highs and lows that roller coasters are child’s play. But it’s okay because it’s all an experience. And someday I will be happy. And I waited and I hoped. And I revelled in the fact that I had God and I had my family, no matter what.
Along the way, I’ve lost love, I’ve lost friends, I’ve lost relationships, I’ve lost myself. At least who I was a few months ago…
But today, I am happy.
Happier than I have been in all this time that I’ve moved to India. Happier than I was 6 months ago. Happier than I have EVER been.
It’s true that God answers prayers; it’s also true that He answers it in His own time.
I have love. We fail to understand that love isn’t always of the romantic kind. It isn’t always of the romantic kind and it’s weird, it takes a real long time to understand that romantic love isn’t always fulfilling. Love is everywhere around you. In your mother’s warmth, in your animals eyes when you return from a long day at work, in the laughter you share with friends, in the silly jokes you crack with friends across the distance. Love doesn’t necessarily look good, smile, watch your eyes crinkle… love is there.
Friends. Where do I begin? In my trials and tribulations, they’ve been there. They’ve understood, even when I’ve taken advantage of the fact that they are there… They’ve helped me through, they’ve carried me over hurdles and warmed my heart when I felt hopeless. They’ve stood my me assuring me that everything will be ‘ok’. A few of them have gone their ways and while I wish they’d come back, I’ll be patient and let time take its course. But for now, I have friends. Friends and love.
I have relationships. Strong, loving, caring relationships. Relationships that enrich me, that make me a better person. That fills me with joy that is inexplicable. Relationships that require no words, no commitment, no expectations. Relationships that have unconditional acceptance, that are forgiving, that understands. I have relationships, friends and love.
I have me. I’ve grown so much in the last 6 months that I feel wiser. I am more aware of my actions, of what I want and where I see myself in the coming months. I have me and relationships, friends and love make me.
Come stand near me, i'll spray some happiness on you.
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